The Hard Way
by abnormalBehavior
Summary: Karkat Vantas doesn't believe in God. He relies on facts and what he sees. Everyone who knows him has heard his preaching of God's falseness. He didn't however, believe he would be taken under Sollux Captor's wing. Perhaps God does exist and maybe angels do too. Solkat. Rated T for swearing, drug use, violence, and past character death.
1. No Mercy From God

**Ello! Okay, this idea has been gnawing at me and I thought I might as well try it out. This is my first time doing a fanfic so take it a little easy on me. Enjoy~**

* * *

The Hard Way

Chapter One: No Mercy From God

Karkat Vantas didn't believe in God. In fact he refused to believe he was real. How could there be God? The Bible stated that he created all things including man. God was said to be merciful and give guidance to those who needed it. That was just bullshit. God wasn't and isn't real. That is what he believed.

It wasn't that he was some sort of demon lover or anything it was just his belief. Most people looked down on him for it too. Not that he cared. It still bothered him when others who worshipped seemed intent on killing the poor teenager when he spoke his mind. Karkat made good points however, spouting that if God was indeed real then why he hadn't protected the praying people in the Twin Towers incident. Why didn't he cure those who had cancer who begged him for just another day with their families? Where was God when his mother was murdered just because she protected her little boy from a group of thugs wanting what was in her purse? The answer to that question was simple as an addition problem, he wasn't.

God didn't come to save her with his holy army of angels. He didn't make the thugs pay for what they did by sending the plague or the curse of Cain on them. Instead they got away with their crime with fifty dollars in their pockets just to kill another innocent.

So yes. Karkat Vantas didn't believe in God.

With that notion Karkat walked around in New York's streets, unafraid. It was a stupid idea but he had become known in the part of city he lived in. He was called the God Hater, Karkiller, or even Satan himself. His glares and infamous scowl scared those names away soon after. Of course people would whisper and gossip about them when he wasn't there but it was better than hearing them. Karkat often thanked his hate for God so people would ignore the shape he was in and focus on his preaching. Living in an old factory abandoned around War World 2 wasn't exactly a place you would call home. To Karkat, it seemed like the perfect place to get away.

He was now in his seventy-eight year old home, wrapped in a dusty blanket that smelled like oil. A bed made of more blankets lay under him providing what heat they could. One hand keep the blanket from falling off while the other scrolled down as he read on his stolen iPhone. His gray eyes scanning over the information he recorded. The Bible. Apparently the owner of the stolen phone read the Bible, on a regular basis. Karkat felt bad for the sorry sucker. As he read he felt the undesired feeling of throwing the phone across the room. He thought better of it and continued reading. It still astonished Karkat how many lies filled the book. People actually believed in this shit.

Karkat was pulled out of his silent rant when he heard a bang of metal hitting the ground. He frowned and rolled his eyes at the noise. "You're late." He said to an approaching figure.

"Sorry. Got motherfucking lost." A low and relaxed voice replied as the figure came into view. He was tall and lanky for his age. His eyes an indigo color that were drowsy looking as they rested on Karkat's small form. The thing that stood out the most was the white face paint covering his face with dark gray paint over his eyes and lips, giving him a clown like look.

"Again? How long have you known me exactly?" Karkat snarled back, not even intimidated by the older teenager's height.

Karkat was small for his age. The clothes he had practically fell of him some days. His lack of food was mostly to blame but that didn't stop the snotty male to back down from a fight. The lanky teen strolled his way to Karkat's side and sat down next to him. He was already prepared for the cold night ahead with polka dot sweatpants and violet hoodie. It looked a lot warmer than Karkat's black sweater and faded blue jeans with rips over the knees.

"Probably since I was a small motherfucker in school." The taller teen answered, looking up at the ceiling.

Karkat rolled his eyes again but welcomed the other to share the warmth of the old blanket." Gamzee, that doesn't really answer the question." He tried to explain to Gamzee who snuggled up to him.

Gamzee shrugged then and focused his attention to the phone in Karkat's hand. His weary gaze reading the words on the bright screen. Karkat didn't seem to mind as he read along with Gamzee. The silence between the two was a comfortable one as they shared the blanket together. Gamzee Makara was Karkat's best friend for as long as he could remember, even though he seemed high as fuck at times. He didn't mind the clown lover's presence at all. Karkat couldn't really judge since he was the God Hater. Gamzee didn't seem to mind either and rarely mentioned it. Karkat didn't know his friend's input on God but it seemed that Gamzee really doesn't have a belief or just doesn't understand who God was. He would however ramble about some high subjugglators when he was completely stoned.

"Why are you reading the Bible? I thought you hated that whole God shit." Gamzee commented looking over at Karkat.

Karkat shrugged in reply but knew that wouldn't be a good enough explanation for his friend." I just wanted to see what it actually said. I was right too."

"About what?" Gamzee asked, eyes drooping slightly.

"The Bible is full of fucking bullshit." Karkat answered the clown painted teenager.

A sudden weight on Karkat's shoulder caused him to look at his friend. Gamzee was quickly sound asleep with his head tilted down towards Karkat. The smaller teenager turned the phone off and pulled the blanket tighter around the both of them. Moving closer to Gamzee, Karkat allowed his eyes to close. This is why he and Gamzee had been best friends for so long. Gamzee knew what happened when he slept and cared enough to come and spend the night. He knew that if he let Karkat sleep alone that he would have nightmares of the night he lost everything. The night God hadn't saved his mother.

* * *

**So yeah. Please review and tell me what you think of it.**

**(I DON'T OWN HOMESTUCK OR ITS CHARACTERS)**


	2. Orphan Memories

**Ello! Again. So, Here's the next chapter. A lot of characters come into play in this one so just wanted to give you a warning. Enjoy~**

**BTW:**

**alonesong: Wow. Thanks! My first chapter up and I already got an awesome review. I totally understand how you feel too. I'm drowned in fanfics its not even funny. Thanks for the review!**

* * *

The Hard Way

Chapter Two: Orphan Memories

_A small boy sat alone at a table made of polished wood. His eyes clued to the book laying on its spine on top of the table. The boy's gray eyes scanning left and right as he quickly skimmed through. His auburn locks were suddenly pushed from his face and a soft voice spoke to him." What are you reading?" The voice belonged to a woman and the boy smiled._

"_I'm reading the Bible. Father Kankri told me I should learn about God's miracles." The boy replied to the woman._

_Gray eyes made their way to stare into a smaller pair of the same eyes. The woman was petite with long flowing brown curls falling over her shoulders. She leaned down next to the boy to read along. A faint smile appeared on her lips as she watched the boy read from the corner of her peripheral vision. _

"_Father Kankri is right. God is a very important person."_

"_Why? What makes him so special?" The boy asked the woman, looking at her._

_She gained a full smile and took the little boy's hand." Well, the reason God is such an important person is because of his love for man and compassion for all things living. God created us, he gave us life and everything else we see he made. The Bible tells us of his wonders and most importantly the sacrifice his son, Jesus, made for us." The woman finished quietly._

_Wrapping his own fingers around the woman's hand, the gray eyed boy opened his mouth." Why did he sacrifice his son? Did he not love him?"_

_Brushing away some of the auburn locks that found their way back onto the boy's face, the woman said." Of course he loved his son but Jesus gave himself to God so we could be forgiven for all our sins. God loved his son very much just as I love you, Karkat." She finished, placing a kiss on the boy's forehead._

"_I love you too Mommy."_

* * *

Karkat's eyes snapped open wide. His body felt hot and itchy all around. He turned his head to where Gamzee's sleeping form was, only to be greeted by an empty space. Karkat furrowed his brows in confusion before giving a heavy sigh. Gamzee must have gone to work. He had mentioned before about getting an early shift. How Gamzee managed to get a nursing job was put down in the back of Karkat's brain. It wasn't really worth asking anyway.

Digging through his pile of clean clothes, Karkat found a relatively clean fleece sweater with a long V-neck in the front. After removing his old clothes he threw on a gray tank top and put the fleece over top. Next, Karkat grabbed a pair of dull gray jeans and replaced them with his ripped one. Picking out a pair of winter boots, Karkat deemed himself ready.

A pipe built into the wall was the only source of water the old factory building could offer. Karkat mainly used it for when he took a shower or brushed his teeth, as he was doing now having already taken a shower yesterday. The water flowed out continuously throughout the day, more so in the winter.

After taking care of his teeth and fashion style, he hurriedly grabbed his stolen phone and turned it on. The white Apple sign appeared on the screen and Karkat stuffed it in his front jean pocket. He walked to the front of the large building and forced it open. The damn thing needed some serious elbow grease put in to open. Once open, Karkat pulled his leather jacket with warm fur on the inside down from of a nail peeking out from the inside wall. He put it on and zipped it up half way then closed the door to his home.

Karkat continued down the dirty street with potholes littering it. He crossed the street and dragged his boots behind him as he walked. Not many people came out this early in the day but Karkat knew a place that opened before the Sun came up. He turned a corner and found himself staring at a gray building with the words DJ Café, lighted up over top the entrance. Karkat made his way down the few blocks until he stood in front of the café. His hand reached for the knob of the door when it swung open and the familiar sight of black sunglasses greeted him.

"Sup, Vantass," A thin boy said with a country accent and bright blonde hair. He wore a smirk that sent waves of irritation over Karkat.

"Move out of the way, Strider." Karkat shot back, pushing his way past the country accented boy.

"Aw. Did I upset the little Karkitty?" The boy mocked back as Karkat walked past.

Ignoring the comment, Karkat took his regular seat by a red counter stretching out far to the left. The café was anything but small. Its walls raised high with old records hanging from string above. The name 'DJ Café' explained the place perfectly. All around was equipment such as amps, records stacked in shelves, headphones, and dubstep keyboards. Karkat couldn't name the rest of the stuff cluttered around the café. It was just as messy as its owner.

"Dave Strider! Get your flat ass over here!" A masculine voice called out to the blonde boy or more commonly known as Dave Strider.

Dave sighed and Karkat gave a smug grin at him as he went behind the counter, opening the door to the kitchen. Dave Strider was Karkat's third best friend apart from Gamzee and a girl named Kanaya who worked farther in the city as a fashion designer. Karkat had met Dave shortly after an old friend, John Egbert, introduced them before leaving to go take of his sick grandmother in Ohio. John had ended up staying when he met a girl named Vriska and made her his girlfriend. Both Dave and Karkat were torn up about it and incidentally grew closer. As for the whole god hating part, Dave hadn't cared whatsoever.

Granted, Dave was an asshole always smirking in utter irony but Karkat enjoyed his company. His father, on the other hand, was less enjoyable to be around.

As if on cue, Bro Strider himself came out from the kitchen." Karkat! It's nice to see you again." Karkat nodded as he continued." I'll make your usual."

Bro went over the cappuccino maker and began his work. Karkat always ordered something hard to make and Dave constantly nagged him about it. Bro, however, was the master at it. Not even half a minute later Bro set the cup of coffee on the counter in front of Karkat, He reached into his pocket to pay for the coffee when Dave's voice called out." Don't you dare pay for that!"

Karkat rolled his eyes. Dave knew the condition that Karkat was in and wanted to help but Karkat refused. He didn't want other peoples help when he was fully capable of taking care of himself. That didn't mean he couldn't allow them to give him free coffee once in a while.

Dave came out seconds later with a large pan of pastries on it. Dave reached up and slid the pan in a tall metal rack where the rest of the sweets were. Karkat's mouth started to water to the point a sliver of drool dripped out. Karkat quickly sucked it back in and swallowed the spit. He felt Dave's eyes on him and he could literally see his smirk in front of his eyes. A cream Danish was suddenly set in front of him and Karkat looked at Dave who gestured to the Danish. "Why don't you taste it for me? See if it's edible."

A frown tugged on Karkats's lips as he raised the pastry to them and took a bite. His eyes closed at the sweet taste filling his mouth. No one could say that the Striders couldn't bake. It was practically embedded in their genes.

"Karkat, are you okay?" Dave's accent interrupted the small teen's enjoyment.

"I'm not bleeding am I? "Karkat said sarcastically. "How would you know anyway if I wasn't?"

Dave's lips turned into a grin before his gaze turned concerned. "Well, you haven't said 'fuck you' so I gathered that something was up."

"Fuck you." Karkat said dully as he stared at Dave.

A long pause came over the two before Dave sputtered and laughed. Karkat smiled widely as he fought to suppress his own laughter but failed horribly. The teenagers continued their uncontrolled laughter until a whole two minutes past by and it died down. Karkat wiped some tears gathering in his eyes before he knew they were overflowing. Dave's own laughter was silenced instantly as he went closer to Karkat's side. "Karkat, what's wrong?" Dave asked, worry written all over his freckled face.

"I had a dream about my Mom again." Karkat said furiously wiping his eyes until the tears stopped.

Dave's hand rested on Karkat's shoulder in a comforting way. Karkat allowed him to put his other arm around him, pulling him into one of their bro hugs. Karkat leaned into Dave until his eyes stopped hurting. The blonde pulled away from the small frame that was Karkat. Dave pitied his friend at what he had been through. He knew the pain of losing a parent, especially a mother. It was a bond that no one who hadn't experienced that kind of loss would fully understand.

* * *

Karkat stayed at DJ Café for an hour before finishing his cappuccino and saying goodbye to Dave and Bro. He journeyed outwards of the city and into what could be considered the suburbs. Dragging his boots along with him, he looked at a large playground with a group of children gathered around a snow bank with two adults watching. Karkat slowed to a stop to watch as the kids broke up and scattered, snowballs in hand. He waited patiently on the other side of the street when a blue hat with ears on top appeared and Karkat stared at its owner. A little girl stared back at him with a large lime green coat covering her body. Karkat smiled when he saw her purple and pink striped pants with slush covered turquoise boots.

"Hi Karkitty!" The girl called from the other side of the street.

"Did you make your bed?" Karkat asked the little girl who nodded in response.

"Did you finish your homework?" He asked. She nodded again and took a step in the street, looking both ways, and running over to Karkat.

Karkat already had his arms open for her as he picked her off the ground and hugged her tight. The little girl wrapped her own arms around his neck. Karkat switched his holding position and held the girl by her hip. He kept his smile as the girl blinked every time a snowflake landed on her eyelids. Her wide green eyes peering into his gray ones.

"I've missed you, Nep." Karkat pushed some strains of hair off the girl's face peeking out from her hat.

"I've missed you too Karkitty."

"Alright kids, everyone back inside!" One of the adults called and the children lined up. The second adult counted off the children by heads and glanced around when the last child lined up." Where is Nepeta?"

"Over here Ms. Harley!" Nepeta yelled out to the woman calling out her name.

The woman looked over and smiled at Karkat who walked across the street with Nepeta on his hip. Ms. Harley came over from the playground and gave Karkat a quick hug. "Nice of you to come by, Karkat. I thought you had forgotten about us." The young woman said.

"You know I wouldn't forget about you. Especially this little troublemaker." Karkat joked, looking at Nepeta and poking her nose.

"Let's go inside then." Ms. Harley said, turning and gesturing for Karkat to follow.

Karkat trailed behind Ms. Harley with Nepeta babbling about her day. Karkat listened all the way, giving nods or asking her how or why she did this and that. Ms. Harley led them up the road where a large mansion stood. A sign hanging on a post told the name of the mansion ahead. Shady Tree Orphanage. Karkat remembered the first time he came here, he was only eight. The place seemed much larger than he had remembered too. He looked at Ms. Harley or Jade, who made it very clear they were friends. Jade was the granddaughter of the founder for the orphanage. Karkat had told Jade when he was young that he didn't believe in God. She was a little shocked at first but completely forgot about it. Just like Karkat forgot about the orphanage.

He hadn't returned when he claimed to want to make his own life and left. Thanks to Jade's persistent attitude he began to visit often and met Nepeta.

She was the only one that he didn't get pissed off at when he called him by his nickname. Nepeta also only allowed Jade and him to call her 'Nep', a nickname for Nepeta.

Once inside, Karkat took a moment to glance over all the things he missed about the mansion. It was grand with high ceilings and expensive artifacts on display, the walls a chocolate brown. The children were strictly forbidden to play in the hallways or anywhere else for that matter. Karkat and Jade broke that rule many times in the past.

Nepeta waved her hand in front of his face and he snapped back into reality. Karkat walked on with Jade while still carrying Nepeta. They climbed the wide marble staircase and walked up to the second floor. Nepeta's room was on the same floor Karkat's used to be. In fact, it was only three doors down from his old room. Karkat smirked as he thought of Dave. He would have said it was totally ironic. Maybe it was.

Jade opened the door to Nepeta's room and Karkat set the little girl down. Her room was completely covered in green, aside from the wall which remained a dark brown color. Nepeta quickly ran to a large green bin in the side of the room. Jade looked at Karkat and smiled." She's really attached to you. Just like you're attached to her."

Karkat watched as Nepeta dug around in the bin. "She's like me." He said simply.

"Hey, Karkitty. Come here!" Nepeta said, taking off her coat and boots and laying them beside the bin.

Karkat looked at Jade who nodded and patted his shaggy hair." See you later, Karkitty." She then walked out closing the door behind her.

He sighed and went over to Nepeta." What do you got there?"

Nepeta smiled a toothy grin, some of her baby teeth missing with the permanent ones growing in like fangs." I got some new toys. Will you play with me?"

Karkat smiled and grabbed a plastic toy lion from the bin." Of course."

* * *

Nepeta had begged Karkat to stay and play with her but he explained to her that he couldn't. He really wanted to stay too but he had work tomorrow. Karkat's 'job' was preaching about God and all that bullshit. He didn't want to tell Nepeta that though, not yet at least. She was still young and he knew she prayed every night before going to bed. Most of the children did in the orphanage. Karkat remembered Jade praying one night when they fell asleep together in Karkat's bed. She prayed for his health and for God to accept his beliefs.

Karkat did have a real job too. Not everything included God in his life. He worked as a cashier at a supermarket close to his factory home on the weekdays at night. His next job was a worker for the cancer society. Karkat was a proud supporter of it and often handed out fundraisers and attended their annual walks.

Tomorrow was the special Christmas Walk for a boy who developed brain cancer. Everyone in the city knew about it too. It was being held in the square, talk about money. The family certainly wouldn't have been able to that with just donation money.

Karkat made sure that his iPhone was set for an early time so he could get up early and attend. He pulled the phone out and double checked just to make sure. His steps became a stride and he tapped, oblivious to the person in front of him getting close. Karkat stopped dead when he bumped into something solid and looked up to meet a pair 3-D glasses.

Karkat took a step back and shoved his hands in his jean pockets. "Watch where you're going, fuckass!" He snapped at the tall male in front of him.

The 3-D glasses owner was indeed tall. Not Gamzee's height but definitely a few inches higher. He was dressed in a yellow striped hoodie, hood up, with black skinny jeans. His feet were most intriguing. One converse shoe was white while the other was black. Karkat raised a brow at him.

"Well, maybe you thouldn't walk with your head in your ath. "The voice was young sounding and he spoke with a lisp.

Karkat held back a laugh as the boy spoke." Yeah, okay, lispy." Karkat snorted and maneuvered around the boy and walked back to his large factory.

The boy watched Karkat as he walked away, a small grin on his face as he continued on his way.

* * *

**Whew~ That was long! Took me three to four hours but it was worth it. Please review and tell me what you're thoughts were! **


	3. Cancer Parade

The Hard Way

Chapter Three: Cancer Parade

It was lightly snowing outside after Karkat woke up and got ready for the parade today. Friday was already one of the busiest days of the week so it only made things more hectic to hold a cancer walk near the square. Karkat made sure to prepare for the busy day. Wearing a large gray fuzzy sweater with loose black jeans. He would just wear the same winter boots that he had on yesterday.

Karkat searched through his ripped duffel bag for the stash of cash he kept when he needed it. He was planning on donating some of the money gathered over the years. The stash was quite large, enough for an apartment but Karkat liked his World War home too much for that. He just saved it for later in the future. He slumped slightly has he thought about school.

Karkat never really put much thought in college. Being seventeen now and all meant he had to start planning out his life a little better. It was probably the reason he kept the duffel back of cash, just for college. His grades were far from horrible anyway. It was however, extremely difficult to get papers signed for school. He usually just let Jade take care of it by giving it to her grandfather, he didn't ask questions about it anyway.

Taking twenty dollars out from the bag, Karkat stood and stuffed it in his jean pocket, next to his stolen phone. He grabbed his jacket and zipped it up.

After forcing open the heavy metal door of the factory, Karkat started his way down the street sidewalk. "Karbro, hold up!" Gamzee's voice called out.

Karkat turned and crossed his arms as Gamzee ran up to him." I thought you were going to meet me at the parade."

Gamzee shrugged and walked beside Karkat." I got off early. It was a motherfucking miracle."

Gamzee had mentioned before about a nursing job that he had. It wasn't a full job since he was nineteen but he was being taught. Gamzee explained he wanted to help people like how Karkat helped him get better after he had a mental breakdown. It happened over three years ago but Gamzee still revisited that day in his head.

"Whatever." Karkat answered plainly and watched the snowflakes falling down to the ground and melting.

They both continued, Gamzee asking him about Nepeta and Jade. Karkat shared everything with Gamzee, including his past. Of course Dave knew about his mother but he didn't know about Karkat being an orphan or things like that. It wasn't that he didn't trust him, he just didn't want everyone to know. Bro would have forced Dave to tell him anyway and Bro would tell the Child Services. Bro wasn't a bad guy, he would say he was looking out for Karkat.

"That's nice that you all got a little sis. I got my own little Tavbro." Gamzee said, humming slightly.

"You mean that Tavros guy you told me about?" Karkat asked.

Gamzee nodded." He's para-"He stopped short and looked confused.

Karkat looked up at his friend." 'Para' what?"

The older teen tried to find the word he was looking for." Para- no- Paralogica? Nah."

Karkat raised a brow." Paraplegia?" He guessed.

Gamzee gave a small 'oh' and smiled." Yeah. Paraplegia. Poor motherfucker can't walk."

He continued to talk about his patient, Tavros Nitram, and his paraplegia. Gamzee seemed to light up as he talked about the boy and moved his hands he talked. Karkat was slightly envious as he explained what Tavros looked like. Making sure to highlight all the parts he liked most about the boy. Like how he turned a bright red when he was complimented on something or when he draws and waits for Gamzee to just show him, and no one else.

Karkat always wanted to meet someone like that and rub it everyone's faces. He knew that wouldn't happen, at least not for a while. Maybe that was the worst part. The part where you have to wait for that special person to come along.

The two friends arrived at the square thirty minutes later. It was already packed tight with people on either side of the street. It resembled what it was like on New Year's, only with not a million people crushed together. Karkat saw it as a good thing. Good that so many people attended the event to support the boy. Donation boxes were set up throughout the square with civilians dropping money in continuously. Some of the floats had already passed but were only sponsors to the foundation. Karkat was mainly focused on the floats that belonged to cancer patients with a serious diagnosis. Family members of the adult or child were on the floats, tossing candy to children.

"Aw, man. Look at motherfuckin float!" Gamzee pointed to a purple painted float as it passed by.

Karkat rolled his eyes at the float. Gamzee always had a thing for the color purple in all its forms. It was obvious just by looking at him. He was either dressed in his multiple pairs of polka-dotted sweatpants or violet hoodie. Even though he wore the same hoodie almost every day, it still managed not to smell like a rat's ass.

The parade continued on for about another hour before Karkat began to realize the snowfall had increased greatly. It fell down like rain and it was difficult to see far off. Police cars began to drive along with the floats. The people around the square began to remark how cold and snowy it was becoming, some leaving. Karkat wanted to stay until he saw the boy who was being honored for the parade.

It was then a police car pulled over and spoke out through his microphone." May I please have your attention?" He said clear to the people on the sidewalks." The parade has been cancelled due to intense snowfall!"

The civilians all groaned and sighed, exasperated. Karkat being one of them.

"The American Cancer Association Parade has been moved to the Alternian Christian Church!" The police officer announced and drove away.

Kakrat felt himself freeze. The parade was being moved to a church? Floats couldn't fit in there. Karkat mentally slapped himself. Of course a float wouldn't fit! They would just send the family inside the large church to continue the celebration for the brain cancer patient. Gamzee noticed Karkat's expression of pure distaste.

"Are you going to go?" He asked the small teenager beside him.

Karkat huffed out a breath and crossed his arms. "Might as well."

Gamzee seemed pleased with this answer as Karkat turned headed for the church. Karkat hadn't been to church in over ten years. He certainly never thought he would be going back. The snow stuck to ground as the two made their way to Alternian Church. The church was one of the biggest in New York City. It just so happened to be the church he used to go to with his mother when he was young.

The church was enormous in height and length. People crowded in the entrance along with some of the cancer inflicted families. Karkat and Gamzee made their way through the hoard and into the church. It was how churches were supposed to look. Big, filled with statues, pews, and an altar. Behind the altar was a large castle like structure with two angels in the towers, symmetrical to each other.

Karkat navigated himself and Gamzee in the very back of the church inn a pew. Other people filled in the pews and Karkat was thankful that the back pews were only minimally filled in. Gamzee looked around, eyes filled with wonder. "Miracles happen here Karbro. Miracles."

Karkat put a hand on his stomach and felt like throwing up suddenly. Gamzee's words seriously affected him at that moment. Even more so when a priest approached the altar." Before we begin speaking to the strong families of the Cancer Association, I would like us all to be joined in prayer."

The priest didn't notice Karkat's glare. His stare radiated a pulse of hate and disgust at the man and he was ready to go up and directly call him out. Until a soft note was played from a piano. Karkat instantly forgot his overwhelming anger. The music played was lilting and smooth, calming the flared up teenager.

Music from the piano led the priest to do the sign of the cross and led the people into prayer. Karkat kept his mouth shut tight and glared at his friend as he hummed along, joining in soon later. He let his eyes scan over the church, landing on the pianist off to the side.

He wore a dark yellow sweatshirt and ripped jeans. Karkat's eyes looked at the feet, his eyes widening. Converses in different colors. Karkat then looked at the face of the pianist and his heart skipped a beat. The teenager gently tapping at the keys wore a pair of 3-D glasses over his eyes.

"You have to be shitting me." Karkat muttered aloud.

A woman turned her head slightly to look bug-eyed at Karkat who flipped her off. The prayer ended along with piano music. The priest continued to talk but Kakrat was no longer listening. He didn't focus on the families who told their stories involving cancer. His gaze was stuck on the boy by the piano. The boy must have felt it when he turned to look right at Karkat.

Karkat quickly looked away and wanted to leave but forced himself to stay seated. He remembered running into the 3-D eyed boy the night before and began to worry. What if he wanted Karkat to pay for being rude towards him or something worse? That was ridiculous, though. He was a pianist for a church. That's not deadly or sadistic in any way, shape, or form.

"And now for the quest of honor, Mituna, you can come up now." The priest said.

A young man hopped up out a front pew and practically ran up the small steps leading to the altar. The man was pale and had an extreme case of helmet hair. "My name is Mituna Captor and I have Stage 2 brain cancer. I appreciate all the donations you have made and are continuing to do so!" Mituna spoke fast with a slight lisp.

"Mituna Captor was diagnosed with brain cancer about a year and a half ago. His tumor was luckily small but more have surfaced throughout. He is a strong young man and my eldest son. You're donations mean everything to my son and my entire family." The priest looked teary eyed as he spoke and Karkat deadpanned.

Mituna Captor, has Stage 2 brain cancer. His father is Yiionic Captor, priest and supervisor of Alternian Catholic Church. Their pale skin and matching hair clearly visible. Karkat put the pieces together fairly easily. The money used from the donations went to a priest's son with a life threatening cancer. He donated his money to the priest's son.

The cathedral was filled with clapping after the priest's small speech and they continued with prayer.

Gamzee must have noticed Karkat's full on death stare at the priest and put a hand on his shoulder." You just want to go?" He asked.

Karkat nodded his head when everyone began to sing. They both stood and walked to the entrance of the church. Karkat halted by a donation box near the door. He stuck his hand in his pocket and felt the twenty dollars inside. _Just for Mituna_, he thought. Karkat then placed the money in the box and turned, feeling someone's gaze on him.

The pianist was looking at Karkat, a smile on his face. He started walking towards Karkat. The small teen didn't move. He couldn't. The other's gaze kept him there. Karkat looked out the corner of his eye for Gamzee but found trace of the purpled hoodie he wore. The pianist finally made his way to stand in front of Karkat." Thank you." He said.

"For what?" Karkat asked in confusion.

The taller male's smile turned into a wide grin." For donating."

Karkat mentally sighed in relief. He only wanted to thank him for donating.

"Unless you're thinking about last night and how you bumped into me."

Karkat froze." Uh, yeah. S-sorry about that."

What the hell was wrong with him? He was sputtering like an idiot. Karkat forced himself to remain eye contact with the other in front of him. He couldn't even see his eyes behind those shades of his.

"It's okay. Although you could have been a little nicer about it." The taller teen said.

"I already said I'm sorry." Karkat frowned at the boy in front of him." What else do you want?"

"I want to know why you hate God so much." The boy replied simply, leaning down slightly.

Karkat found it hard to speak suddenly with the other teen so close. He wished Gamzee would come in and pull him away. This guy wanted to know why he hated God. Karkat pondered over whether he should tell him or not. How did he even know? "Why do you want to know?"

"I wanted to know why you donate at least ten bucks every week for a donation to families that come to this church. I wanted to know why you would care so much if you hated God." The teen finished, looking down at the smaller teen.

Karkat didn't know what to say. No one had asked him that question before and he felt a little shocked about it. Thinking of the answer took longer than he had expected as well. Looking up into the taller boy's covered eyes, Karkat spoke." Because God isn't doing anything about it."

* * *

**Cliff hanger! *evil laugh* Don't worry I'll get the next chapter up ASAP, or relatively soon. Please review! **


	4. Son of the Saint

**Quick Note: So I made ' into Sollux's lisp words because it kinda works better for writing so I'll be doing that from now on. ALSO, this is written in Sollux's POV but I didn't say it was it was his POV, like how I didn't say how it was Karkat's POV because you can tell whether if it is or not. So you guys don't get confused or anything :3 AND, Sollux might seem a little of character but I just wrote how I envisioned him in my head. Sorry if he's a little weird -_- **

**BTW:**

**alonesong: Well, shit. I guess my typing is faster then my mind is while thinking. I went back and changed those grammar and spelling errors, ugh. Thanks for pointing that out and 'loving' my story. It loves you back!**

* * *

The Hard Way

Chapter Four: Son of the Saint

Sollux Captor believed in God.

It was only fitting for a priest's son to learn about the Lord. His father taught him the lessons in life and made sure Sollux could recite the Ten Commandments in order. Sollux didn't argue against his father's rules along with his teachings. He simply accepted that God was the center of his life and would remain the center. Even if it included being homeschooled and isolated from the outside world.

Sollux thought that it was because of his heterochromia; discoloration of the eyes. His left eye a cerulean blue while his right was a dark maroon color. Sollux used his shaggy black hair to cover them up sometimes. His father reassured him it wasn't why he was homeschooled, calling his eyes a special gift from God. It didn't really describe the reason for his lisp, though. He blamed that mostly on his nervousness.

When Sollux was finished with his school work, he often explored his father's large house. He wandered throughout the libraries sections. Biographies, Poetic, Geography, and Fiction. His father had chosen the hundreds of books for Sollux and his older brother to read for essays or large projects. When he found the time, Sollux read most of the fiction books to pass the time.

That changed when his tenth birthday approached. His father had presented him with his first laptop. Sollux quickly started it and programmed to the settings he wanted, with the exception of his father's parental controls. Browsing the Internet became his new pastime. Sollux wanted to do more with his present though. Taking one of his many journeys to the library, he picked out books about computer programming. It took a long time for him to perfect his hacking skills along with programming. His hacks were small at first before he could hack into a person's account and change it to whatever he pleased.

Sollux was quite proud of himself afterwards and being the honest son he was, told his father. The priest did not pat Sollux's back and congratulate him. Instead, he took Sollux's laptop away and told Sollux that he was extremely disappointed in him.

Mituna, Sollux's older brother, felt bad for him and allowed him to use his own laptop. Sollux thanked his brother and continued spending his time hacking and browsing through the web. It was then that Sollux realized something he had never thought of before. While reading through his brother's computer files, he found a project for religion class. Sollux decided to open the file and see what projects he would have to do in the future. What he saw left him in utter confusion.

The file spoke of a woman called Mother Mary. Sollux had never heard of a 'woman' before. Sollux thought to search about this Mother Mary and was terrified at what he read. Mother Mary was the mother of Jesus Christ. Sollux was having trouble in believing this information he was seeing. His father never told him anything about the mother of Jesus. He never taught him anything about this person or giving birth to Jesus. Sollux read more about this Mary and found out what a woman was and how they played a role in children's lives.

The word mother was forever burned into Sollux's brain.

He immediately questioned his father about it who denied ever hearing about a Mother Mary. Sollux swore for the first time then, claiming that it was complete bullshit. He then was grounded for a total of five months. Mituna came to visit him the first couple of days and explained to Sollux what a mother was. He told his younger brother that a mother gave birth to a child and helped raise them along with the father. Mituna told Sollux that they both had a mother but she left after Sollux was born.

"Why? Did th'he hate me or th'omething?" Sollux asked his older brother.

Mituna shook his head, speaking with his own lisp." No. Th'he and Father just didn't get along."

"But you knew her, right?" Sollux pressed.

"Yeah, but th'he was usually gone all the time."Mituna said to him.

Sollux wasn't convinced and crossed his arms, irritated with his brother's answer. Mituna just laughed at Sollux's pouting and ruffled his hair.

"Don't worry about it. I'll bail you out of your cell th'oon enough, so get th'ome th'eep." With that, Mituna turned the light off and walked out of his brother's room.

Sollux was angry. He was upset about his father lying to him. He was irritated with Mituna. Most of all, he was confused about God. So, he did something he would regret.

He ran away.

Sollux waited until midnight and put on his old winter coat. He searched around frantically for a pair of shoes but only found a two sneakers in different colors. One was a dark ocean blue while the other shoe was a ruby red. It reminded him of his own eyes and he scrunched his nose in annoyance. Sollux really didn't want to walk down the halls when his father could just be waiting behind a corner for him. He grabbed his father's old suitcase that Sollux asked for when he was younger to put some of his old art projects in that became fragile over the years. He filled it with clothes and the money in his bumblebee piggy bank.

After putting the two different shoes on, he opened his bedroom window and threw his suitcase down and heard it hit the ground. A fairly small roof with gray shingles over top of it awaited Sollux to land on. He sat on the ledge of his window and jumped down onto the roof. Sollux then peered down the edge of the roof, a row of bushes greeting him from below. He sucked in a breath and jumped down once again into the bushes.

Sollux felt the wind get knocked out of him as he hit the bush and later the ground. He checked himself for any injuries before standing and searching for his suitcase. Sollux found it a minute later by a tall tree about three feet away from his window. He was impressed with himself as he pulled out the retractable handle and walked with it.

He walked out over the obtuse amount of grass until he arrived at what he knew was called a street. Sollux came to the conclusion this was a very bad idea. He hadn't left his house ever. Only Mituna and his father went in and out when they pleased. Sollux tried to convince himself that he could do it. He had read about the city that was close by and all the people who lived there. Sollux was prepared for this, he was smart.

Sollux walked on the side of the street until he arrived at three sets of streets. He simply looked towards the city he read about filled with lights and were faded sirens rang out. It took all night before he finally began to get into the outskirts of it. His legs were sore and his eyes were stinging. Blinking a few times, Sollux furrowed his brows in confusion. His vision wasn't like it used to be back at home. He used to see everything around the house but now things that were far off were blurry.

The Sun was beginning to rise of in the distance and Sollux squinted at a playground a couple of feet away from a big house like his own. Sollux smiled inwardly. He had seen a picture of a playground and wished he had one in his backyard that he often used to stare down at from the windows. He made his way over sat down on a swing, setting his suitcase to the side by a pole that bended at the top and over Sollux. It probably held the swings up.

Moving his legs back and forth slowly, the swing began to move him in the same motion. It reminded Sollux of the rocking chair back in the library that he used to sit in and read. He continued moving in the same motion, staring up at the light blue making its way across the sky with the stars fading from view.

"Who are you?" A gruff voice asked behind Sollux.

Sollux quickly jumped up and turned to look at a small boy with wild auburn hair on his head.

"I'm th'orry! I didn't know this belonged to anyone." Sollux apologized, nervous.

The boy raised a brow at him, his gray eyes visible when the Sun reflected in them." It doesn't. The only people who use it is the orphanage up the road back there."

Sollux glanced at the big house." Do you live there?"

The boy nodded and took a seat in the swing beside Sollux.

Seeing no harm in it, Sollux sat back down on the other swing he was on. He glanced at the boy, analyzing everything about him. He wore a black sweater with gray jeans that matched his eyes. The boy had his eyes on Sollux's suitcase. "What's that?" He asked.

"My th'uitcase." Sollux answered honestly.

"Why do you talk like that? It sounds weird." The gray eyed boy asked.

Sollux stared the small boy, slightly hurt." What do you mean?"

"When you say your s's they sound like a hissing snake." He explained to Sollux, glaring slightly.

Sollux shrugged." I wa'th born with it."

The boy nodded and looked away." Where are you going?"

"Huh?"

"You have a suitcase so it's obvious you're going somewhere."

Sollux shifted on the swing uncomfortably. He was beginning to realize this was the first time that he talked to another boy like him. He wasn't sure if it was a bad thing or not." Yeah. I th'ort of ran away."

"That's stupid." The boy retorted.

"Why?"

"You have a home and obviously a family. That's a lot more that we have here."

Sollux suddenly felt guilty. He was being selfish and he wasn't raised like that, even though his teacher was just the same." Th'orry."

"I like your eyes." The boy said suddenly, still looking away.

Sollux was speechless. He hadn't even realized that his eyes were showing. They had never been seen by anyone besides his own family. "Uh, thank you."

The boy nodded again." What's your name?" He asked.

"Sollux."

"Hey, you didn't lisp that time!" The boy turned to look at Sollux, a faint smile on his lips.

Sollux gasped slightly. He hadn't even noticed. Why didn't he lisp that time? Then a thought dawned on him suddenly and he smiled back at the boy." That's because you're easy to talk to. Can you tell me your name, please?"

The boy kept his small smile and spoke." Karkat."

* * *

"Because God isn't doing anything about it." Karkat's voice brought Sollux out his memories.

He stared down at the small teenager known as Karkat Vantas. Sollux was euphoric about seeing the tiny male again. He had been taken back to his father after he had called the police to search for his missing son. Once he was found, he told his father why he left, he hugged Sollux and told him he wouldn't shelter him anymore.

Sollux started going to a public school and was allowed to go outside when he wanted. He learned to interact with people his age and grew a little closer with his father. Mituna took him around the city and showed him everything, including the Alternian Church. His father was the priest and supervisor of the church. Sollux was in adoration for his father. The only problem that remained was his eyes and lisp.

Mituna took Sollux to an eye doctor who prescribed a pair of 3-D glasses for his heterochromia. His vision improved greatly upon it, allowing both eyes to adjust properly. His lisp still remained, however. That's when he truly learned about the cruelty of other kids. Eridan Ampora was one of his daily abusers but Sollux was quick to get tired of his shit.

All he really wanted was to subside the lisp like how talking to Karkat did. Sollux hadn't succeeded until now. Now as he stared down at the child he had met nearly over eight years ago. The very child he had been watching for over those eight years was standing right in front of him.

"Is that so?" Sollux replied back to the angry teen, relieved he had no lisp.

Karkat indeed looked pissed. His eyes narrowed and arms crossed securely. Sollux found this sight very amusing." Yes. And I would like to know why the fuck you've been following me?"

Sollux put his hands up in surrender." Calm the hell down, Karkat. I haven't been following you."

Karkat's expression changed into a surprised one as he stared at Sollux." How do you know my name?"

"Well, you've made quite a name for yourself being the God Hater." Karkat's frown increased.

Sollux decided to tell him later about the time they met. Besides, he had a much better idea than to just fully come out with it. Karkat looked like he was growing impatient by the minute and sighed frequently and glanced around.

"Look, as much as I would love to stay and chat, I have somewhere to be." Karkat said and turned to leave.

Sollux allowed the small male to open the door to the church, with a gust of cold air blowing in with snow. Karkat seemed to hesitate as he glanced around. He was most likely looking for his friend that came in with him. Sollux had seen the clown painted teenager leave shortly after Karkat stopped at the donation box. He was on the phone when he left in a hurry.

"Fuck." Sollux heard Karkat mutter and took this opportunity he probably wouldn't get again.

"You know, you could just stay here. The church has a loft upstairs where I stay." Sollux said to Karkat, who turned back to look at him suspiciously.

"What about the people in here? They might have to go out in this too." Sollux frowned at Karkat's question.

"They won't need to. They have cars while you don't." Good save, Sollux had thought to himself. He knew everyone who came to this church had a car or had a way of transportation.

Karkat seemed unsure and was wondering how Sollux knew he didn't have a car. He could take a cab but he was sure that no taxis were out this far with the weather.

"I'll kill you if you try anything." Karkat finally said, closing the door to the church.

Sollux did a small victory dance in his head. Phase one of his plan worked!

The prayer session ended soon after Karkat agreed to stay. The people began to stand and make their way out of the church.

"Might as well take me up to this 'loft' of yours." Sollux grinned at Karkat's words and gestured him to follow.

Sollux led Karkat to the end of the church near the castle statue stood and went behind it. A wooden door was what awaited in back and he opened the door for Karkat." Up you go."

Karkat peeked into the door where a spiraling staircase led upwards. "Seriously?" He asked looking at Sollux.

"Seriously." He replied.

Sucking in a breath, Karkat walked in and started up the steps.

"Sollux!" Mituna's voice carried through the air and Sollux immediately went to him.

"What?" Sollux hissed at his brother when he found him out in front of the castle statue.

"Who was that?" Mituna asked, his lisp was only faintly apparent.

Sollux grimaced at the loss of his older brother's lisp, and it wasn't a good thing either. Mituna had always had a bad lisp. It was worse than Sollux's by far. It started ever since he developed the brain tumor. _Stop thinking about it! _Sollux mentally scolded himself

"It's Karkat."

Mituna gave a tiny squeal and smiled widely at Sollux."So you found him?"

Sollux shrugged." Eh, kind of."

"Well, whatever that means, I hope it all works out!" His brother said, smile never fading.

Sollux nodded." Tell Father I'm going to th'tay up in the Loft, okay?" Damn, his lisp was back.

Mituna nodded and said goodbye to Sollux before leaving with his father, who merely glanced Sollux's way.

Sollux went back behind the statue and into the spiral staircase room, closing the door behind him. His father probably thought that Sollux needed to have some time alone like he usually said he did when he came up here. Sollux had made the Loft into his own private domain when he didn't want to be stuffed in the Loft mostly helped him deal with the powerful migraines he had daily. The quiet helped calm him as did playing the piano. Sollux couldn't quite remember when he learned to play but it just came to him. It helped him cope with everything going on recently as well.

He stopped by the stairs and looked down at his different colored shoes. Mituna's cancer was something he didn't like talking about. Neither was his growing bipolar disorder. He hadn't really thought about it in a while. Now, with Karkat here, he was afraid of it showing. Eridan was quick to pick up on it when they first met so what if Karkat thought he was strange? Sollux had seen Karkat walk around their high school every day and never had the balls to actually go up and tell him who he was. Karkat didn't seem to even know him at all. It made sense too, they hardly had any classes together and there was a fuck ton of kids at their school.

Sollux shook his head. No, he was going to do this. He was Sollux Captor, the kid who made headlines about his runaway plan. The teenager who always got honors for Computer Science. The only hacker who could access all of New York's camera's around the city. He wasn't going to mess this up.

So, he took a step upwards.

* * *

**10 year old Sollux is smart. Just saying. Kid genius.**

**Review, Favorite, Follow, or whatever!**


	5. In the Company of a Believer

**Finally! I was having a fun time dealing with writer's block. **

**It's a bitch. It also makes sure that this chapter is short and crappy. **

**I'M SORRY! **

**I'll update again ASAP for the next chapter.**

* * *

Chapter Five: In the Company of a Beliver

Standing in the middle of a wooden walled room was very different from Karkat's rusty metal walls. It had a comfortable feel. Not really something he was accustomed to. It had a large black rug covering half the floor with three bean bags strewn around. One red, one blue, and one yellow. Stained glass windows were divided in fours with splashes of colors in them. In a corner was a shit load of game consoles along with the games themselves. Different posters were tapped up on the walls including music notes. Karkat was mostly focused on the flat screen TV hanging over a heater.

Karkat put his hand out over the furnace and a hot breeze drifted over his fingers. He closed his eyes and let the feeling of it warm him. A tingling sensation began in his fingers and hand. Karkat figured it was because if the cold mixing with the warmth.

The ringing of his phone caused Karkat to jump as he dug the device from his pocket." Hello?"

"_Hey Karbro." _

Gamzee.

"Where the fuck are you?" You left me alone at a goddamn church!" Karkat growled at his friend on the end of the line.

"_Sorry, bro. Another motherfucker at work needed some backup."_

Karkat found himself sighing." I guess it's okay. But you could have at least warned me or taken me with you."

"_Oh yeah, your with that guy. He seemed nice to offer you a place to crash." _Gamzee mused in Karkat's ear.

"You heard that and didn't say anything? You asshole!"

Gamzee chuckled on the other end._" It's better than being all cold in that metal place. I gotta go anyway, see you later Karbro."_

"Don't you dare!" Karkat hissed before the line went dead.

He pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it, dumbfounded. Was his best friend a heartless monster all this time? Karkat frowned and leaned on the wall next to the heater. He had two choices; abscond the hell out of there or stay and keep warm. Gamzee made a good point in saying that it would probably be freezing back at home. He had survived it throughout the years but it usually ended in him catching a life threatening cold. It couldn't be worse than sleeping next to a complete stranger.

Karkat turned his head to look at the stairs. Where was that guy at anyway? _Getting all his murder weapons so he can cut your organs out, _he thought. Karkat grimaced at the thought of his intestines being ripped out from his body. Shaking it off, he stood straight when footsteps made their way up the stairs and put his phone in his jean pocket.

The lean boy from before emerged on the top of the platform. Karkat took notice that his ink black hair was visible now. Including his 3-D glasses that were strangely hypnotic to just look at. His skin was pale like Karkat's.

"Th'orry if it'th cold up here. The heat kick'th on randomly." He spoke, nearing Karkat.

Karkat stood his ground as he did so." You lisped that time. Why didn't you before?"

"Are you hungry?" The boy asked, ignoring the question.

Karkat looked at the boy fully. He wore a blank face as he stared back." Answer the question."

This made the taller teenager smile awkwardly." I don't really like to talk about it."

Karkat huffed but dropped the subject." I'm hungry."

The stranger kept his smile and nodded, walking over by the blue bean bag. He kneeled down and unzipped the back of it and pulled something out. After zipping the back up, he stood and carried what now looked like a silver wrapped rectangle. He held it out to Karkat." Here."

"What is it?" Karkat asked, taking it.

"A pop tart obviou'th'ly." The other said rather snottily.

Karkat rolled his eyes and tore the top and unwrapped the rest. Two pastry looking shapes were colored white with black dots covering the glaze. It wasn't anything that Dave or Bro made. Hesitantly, Karkat broke off a chunk from the top and nibbled on it.

At first, it was just soft fried wheat before he got to the glazed part. The taste was familiar as he took bigger bites. Karkat tried to think of the desert he had before that had the same taste.

"Cookie'th and cream." Karkat was shocked when the stranger spoke out the words he was thinking.

Yes. Cookies and cream was the name.

The two stood in silence as Karkat devoured both pop tarts. The boy took the wrapper and threw it in a trash can behind the red bean bag. He then moved behind it and unzipped the back and tugged out a couple of blankets.

"Do you put all your stuff in those?" Karkat asked, slightly amused by it.

The stranger must have thought so too when his smile turned into a grin. It was slightly lopsided and Karkat looked away. It looked like one of Nepeta's grins when she was up to something. As much as he didn't want to admit, it was adorable.

"No, not all of my th'tuff. My important th'tuff is at my house. Th'afe and th'ound."

"So, you don't live here?" Karkat questioned.

The teen shook his head and tossed a blanket to him." I just come here when I want to be alone. No one mind'th anyway."

Karkat caught the blanket that was red with black stripes on it. He nodded subconsciously to the boy's words as he glanced at the red bean bag." Where do I sleep?"

"Wherever you want. There'th the floor, my pile of game'th, but I per'th'onally recommend the bean bag'th." The taller teenager answered sarcastically.

Karkat wasn't even listening as he made his way to the red bean bag and sat down in it. It was squishy and sank slightly under his weight. Dave had one of them in his own room that Karkat enjoyed sitting in when he visited. He took off his jacket and used it as a pillow, taking off his boots next. He then threw the blanket over himself.

The other turned flipped a switch by the stairs that turned the lights off. Karkat watched as he removed his own shoes but the hoodie remained. He sat across from Karkat on the yellow bean bag, covering himself with blankets of his own.

"Why are you letting me stay here?" Karkat blurted out.

With a cock to his head that was shadowed, the boy replied." I work for a church. It'th kind of nece'theth'ary."

Karkat narrowed his eyes at him and closed his eyes. "What does God give you back for your good deeds?"

"Peace of mind." He said as the heater suddenly stopped blowing out warm air.

Karkat wasn't bothered by the heaters stop but by the other's words. What peace of mind? Peace with himself or peace in helping another person? Karkat cleared his thoughts and just focused on getting some sleep.

Eventually his mind became heavy and cloudy as he lost his consciousness to sleep. He had no dreams which he was thankful for but he knew that without Gamzee they would come to be nightmares. That was until he started to shiver later in the night. Without the heat of the furnace, the wood room became a glacier.

Karkat stifled his eyes from opening as he heard light footsteps make their way to him. He already arranged what he would do if the teenager tried to jump him. Cracking his eye lids slightly, he saw a darkened figure holding something long in his hands as he draped it over Karkat's body. It was just another blanket.

Karkat would have been lying if he said he wasn't surprised. The boy made sure the blanket covered him before turning. "Who are you?"

He stopped to look back at Karkat, who realized he asked a question he really didn't want to know the answer to. Karkat hadn't wanted to know this person's name so he didn't have to get to know him or remember what he did and have to repay him.

"Sollux."

"You didn't lisp that time." Karkat whispered, suddenly afraid of what the reply would be.

"That's because you're easy to talk to." With that the other walked back to his bean bag and pulled his blanket over himself again.

Karkat didn't respond. He tried to figure why the name was so familiar to him. The contemplations diminish as he slowly began to fade. One word being repeated over and over again in his dream like mind.

_Sollux?_

_Sollux._

_SOLLUX!_

* * *

**Yeah. ****So review, follow, favorite, or whatever.**


	6. A Sinful Name

**A/N: Sixth chapter. **

**Meh. **

**I'll let you guys decide whether or not its fabulous or needs some boosts later on.**

* * *

The Hard Way

Chapter Six: A Sinful Name

_Karkat was frozen as he stared at the lifeless figure that was his mother. Tears streamed down his face as he whined quietly. He was afraid of the men coming back and stabbing him instead. Terrified, he kneeled beside his mother and took her hand in his._

"_Mommy?" Karkat called out his mother's name._

_There was no response. The only sound was sirens getting closer to the alley Karkat was alone in with his sleeping mother. She's asleep, Karkat reassured himself. She was hurt and just needed sleep to get better._

_He brought his mother's cold hand to his lips and breathed out warm air on it. It did little to warm her but Karkat refused to give up. He refused to accept the fact that his mother was dead. _

_She was dead._

_Dead._

_Gone._

"_Can't you see?" A voice asked and Karkat frantically glanced around for the source._

"_W-who are you?" He asked, voice hoarse._

"_I'm you and you're me. So, can't you see?"_

"_See what?"_

"_Can you see the truth?"_

_Karkat tensed at the words._

"_Truth of what?" _

"_The truth that your mothers dead, Karkat. She's dead."_

_Karkat shook his head." No! She's asleep! She wouldn't leave me alone."_

_The voice spoke again, every word filled with venom." She. Is. Dead."_

_Karkat kept shaking his head. His other hand tugging at his hair and pulling." Go away! Leave me alone!"_

_He tried tuning out the voice but it continued to speak in his mind. It went on and on._

_She's dead._

_It's your fault._

_She's dead._

_It's your fault._

_She's dead._

_It's your fault._

_All_

_Your._

_Fault._

"_Stop! Stop it!" Karkat screamed over his mother's body._

_The sirens were ringing in his ears as he felt himself being lifted off the ground. Karkat panicked. He thrashed, bit, and scratched. The voice just wouldn't stop and Karkat and looked at the man trying to hold him. A man with red and blue eyes, whose hands strangled him. Every word he spoke belonged to the voice and Karkat fought for his life to get away._

_A hand covered his mouth that was screaming for help as his body felt like it was being crushed. It sunk in on itself until nothing was left but bones buried underneath the ground._

_Karkat moved his skull to the right to stare into the black sockets that once were the color of his own. His skeletal fingers reaching out to the skeleton beside him. Karkat wanted to cry but no tears came from his empty sockets as he stared at his mother's bones._

* * *

The soft notes played out from a piano greeted Karkat as he jolted awake. His heartbeat was ecstatic as it pounded in his chest. Karkat panted and stood up shakily. The two blankets he had over him from the night before falling off him.

He took a moment to gather his surroundings. A wooden room with bean bags. He was still in the loft that Sollux allowed him to stay in.

_Sollux._

Karkat shook his head as he gathered his jacket and put his shoes back on. He looked over to where Sollux was but saw no body in the yellow bean bag. His nerves were on high alert as he walked down the loft's spiral staircase. Every step echoing throughout the bricked up walls. Karkat's head perked up when he heard a piano being played.

Once at the bottom, Karkat opened the wooden door that was hidden behind the castle statue. He walked out from behind the statue where his eyes instantly locked on to a yellow hoodie.

Sollux sat on a stool in front of the piano off to the side from the altar. His finger gliding over the keys gracefully. His eyes looked closed behind his glasses. Those glasses that drew Karkat in for some odd reason and brought him to stand in back of Sollux.

Oblivious, Sollux continued playing a sweet melody that calmed Karkat's racing heart. The notes on the piano were not even the ones being played as Sollux continued on. Karkat closed his own eyes and imagined what the symphony would look like if it was painted on a canvas. A long river running down a mountain side with pine tress around the area. Green grass resting over the hills down below the mountain with a herd of wild horses running free across them. It was created into something beautiful.

Then the music halted and Karkat's eyes snapped open. Sollux was turned slightly with his eyes on Karkat. A smile on his lips as he spoke." You're awake, finally."

Karkat crossed his arms." How did you learn to play like that?" Dammit, don't ask stupid questions, he scolded himself.

Sollux shrugged." I practiced a lot as a kid but I never took any classes or that shit."

"Swearing in a church? What would God think?' Karkat scrunched his nose at him.

"It's not like it's a sin or anything. No one's around anyway."

"What about me?" Karkat asked.

"You don't believe in God so it doesn't count." Sollux said, turning back to the piano.

Karkat said nothing else. He seemed unsure about what to do next. It was Monday, so it was probably best of he went back home and get more sleep. That idea wasn't really welcomed in Karkat's mind as he thought back to his dream. He remembered little about it but he vividly remembered the part of seeing his mother's bones. It always ended like that, him buried beside his mother.

"Want to get something to eat?" Sollux's voice cut through Karkat's memory with the question.

"What do you mean?"

"I was wondering if you were hungry so I wanted to take you to breakfast." Sollux stood and moved to stand in front of Karkat.

"Why the hell not?" Karkat threw his hands up in the air and then back down, hitting his sides.

"You don't have to be so dramatic about it." Sollux snickered as he walked past Karkat.

Karkat followed behind as Sollux opened the front church doors. Karkat quickly put on his jacket but didn't move outside when Sollux did.

"What is it?"

"Aren't you worried that someone might steal something when no one's around?"

Sollux wore a face that said 'really?' written all over it. He completely blew over Karkat's question and walked on. He was such a dick.

Karkat struggled to keep up to Sollux as he took long strides with those spider legs of his. Not even Gamzee walked that fast. They both continued until Sollux slowed his pace, allowing Karkat to walk beside him. He said nothing as they walked and neither did Karkat. Biding his time, Karkat watched the people walk by them, looking at their necks. He scowled deeply when he saw a young woman walk by with a cross necklace. Normally he would have called her out for it and make her recap her faith. Most people were just born into a Catholic or Jewish family with little to no understanding of their origin or understanding God. For the few who did, he made sure they questioned their own belief.

"Is there a reason you hate God so much?" Sollux asked, looking down at Karkat.

Karkat glanced back up at him." What reason isn't there not to? Think about it, he doesn't cure the sick, he doesn't help homeless children, and he doesn't protect you."

Sollux looked forward and then back down at Karkat." That isn't true. He does a shitload of things."

"Like?"

"Like give hope to the suffering or forgive the sins we do-"

"That stuff is fucking bullshit!" Karkat cut of Sollux."If God _really _cared, than half of these people wouldn't be living on minimum wage."

Sollux remained quiet the rest of the way until he stopped at a Panera restaurant.

Karkat raised a brow at him. "Bread for breakfast?"

The taller teenager grinned and opened the door for Karkat."Trust me. It's delicious."

Karkat sighed and walked in. He was instantly hit with the fresh smell of bread and something like soup. He had never been in one of these restaurants before. The only sample he had of Panera, was when Dave brought some to lunch at school. He asked him to bring more but knowing Dave, he would eat it all anyway.

Sollux and Karkat ordered what they wanted and took their order number and picked a table. It was by a window so that Karkat could look out of. He had a weird obsession in wanting to look out at everything going on. He could feel Sollux's gaze on him again like it was at the church. Maybe he wanted a thank you? Did he really want to thank this person though? Sure, he let him stay warm in his loft and feed him a pop tart but does that really require a thank you? Yeah, it did.

"Thanks." Karkat mumbled out.

"For what?" Sollux asked, his palm holding his chin with his elbow on the table.

"For letting me stay overnight and taking me out to breakfast. It means a lot." Karkat forced out like he was speaking a foreign language.

Sollux grinned at him again, this grin in particular sent sparks of irritation down Karkat's spine. It was a shit-eating grin. Whatever punctuality this kid had been lost overnight.

"You're welcome. You look like you needed it, anyway." Sollux replied, looking over Karkat's lithe structure.

Karkat felt his cheeks go warm in return. He didn't know if it was from embarrassment or what, either way, it wasn't something he disliked. Sollux stood when their number was called and walked off to get the food. Karkat watched as he left, eyes scanning the boy's form. He was thin like Karkat but in a good way. It looked like he ate healthy and wasn't living on what he found in the garbage like Karkat had to do. There was the school lunches that he was able to eat by paying with the money he split from his paycheck every month.

Sollux returned soon after with their orders. Karkat had a Mediterranean Egg White on Ciabatta. Sollux had a Cinnamon Crunch Scone, only there was no cinnamon. It was glazed over with warm honey. It also looked three times bigger than it did on the menu. Karkat looked at Sollux to see him waving to a girl with a ridiculous amount of hair. She waved back behind the counter and gestured to the scone. He picked it up and took a bite out of it, giving her a thumbs up.

"Who the fuck is that?" Karkat asked him, taking a bite from his sandwich.

"Feferi. She makes the most amazing honey scones for me." Sollux answered.

Karkat felt a little envious at hearing that. He took another bite of his breakfast." How long have the two of you been dating?"

Sollux choked on his scone and coughed. After he regained control of his breathing he looked at Karkat, utterly shocked." FF is my best friend! There is no way I could ever date her!"

The small feeling of jealousy vanished from Karkat. He smirked internally and found another way to catch Sollux off-guard." Why do you call her 'FF', then?"

"It's a nickname. Lay off, KK." Sollux's lip curved into a smirk at the end of the sentence.

Karkat flicked a piece of egg onto Sollux's sweatshirt, who took immediate action. "Don't call me that fuckass."

"But it goes so well with your name!" Sollux pouted.

"What are you? A retard or something?" Karkat snarled at him.

Sollux backed down then, looking away. Karkat wondered if he said something wrong to upset him, trying to pinpoint what was wrong. The wheels turned his head as something clicked. He was such an asshole for not realizing before.

"Are you-?"

"Bipolar? Yeah, just a bit." Sollux finished for Karkat.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Sollux chuckled." Karkat Vantas, the legendary God Hater, is apologizing to me? I'm honored." He did a slight bow in his seat.

"Shut it, douchemuffin." Karkat muttered then shot up straight in his seat. "What time is it?"

Sollux reached into his hoodie's pocket and pulled out his cell phone." A bit past ten-thirty, why?"

"Shit." Karkat took out his own phone and checked the time. Ten thirty-nine.

"Do you need to be somewhere?" Sollux asked, looking a little concerned.

Fuck yes he did. He promised Kanaya he would met her today so they could work on a costume for Nepeta's Christmas play. The orphanage has one every year and she was picked to be Mary. Karkat had told he would make her the best costume out of all the other kids. Kanaya was a real stickler for time too.

"Yeah. I have to be at a store called Maryam Connections. A friend is expecting me." Karkat explained to Sollux, who nodded in understanding.

"Don't worry. I'll get you there in time." Sollux said reassuringly.

Sollux stood with Karkat following after. He approached Feferi who smiled at him when he came close.

"Whale hi there! What can I do for you?" She said cheerfully. Karkat thought he threw up a little in his mouth.

"I need to borrow your car. It'th important!" Sollux lisped to her.

Karkat drew his lips into a thin line. _That's because you're easy to talk to. _Sollux's words from before rung in Karkat's head as Feferi talked.

"Shore! Since it's so important. Make sure you bring her back safely, mister!" She warned and pulled out a pair of key from her jean pocket. She handed it to Sollux who thanked her again.

"I'll go get the car while you keep warm in here. I'll be out front." Sollux said to Karkat and dashed out the front door of the restaurant.

Feferi's voice brought Karkat to look at her." Are you Sol's frond?" She asked him, smiling brightly.

"I wouldn't say, uh, whatever you just said but I guess." Karkat hurriedly replied.

"Fish puns. It confuses everyone if you hadn't heard it before." Feferi informed him.

A honk sounded in front of the restaurant and Karkat felt his jaw drop. A Land Rover LR2 idled out in front. This girl was Feferi Peixes, lead cheerleader of his high school. Everyone knew she drove that Rover. How could he not remember the popular girl in school?

The honking continued until it vaguely reminded Karkat of Gamzee's honking laughs he had when he was drunk. Feferi bid him farewell before he ran out and hopped in the car. It was already warm when he entered and Sollux took off.

"You have a driver's license, right?" Karkat asked, nervously.

"Yeah, but I honestly think it was a mistake." Sollux said while turning a corner.

"Why?" Karkat questioned, making sure his seatbelt was tight when he buckled up.

"Because I honestly just did it on a whim and got approved. I haven't really drove a car since."

Out of all the bipolar dipshits, Karkat had to meet this one. He really didn't complain since it seemed that Sollux knew where he was going. At the speed he was travelling, it wouldn't take them long to get there.

"So, does this friend of yours need some fashion advice?" Sollux asked.

"No, not really. She owns the place and I needed her help for making a costume."

"I didn't know our school was doing a play."

Karkat looked over at Sollux. Did he say 'our school'? Did he mean that they went to the same school and Karkat hadn't even noticed?

"There isn't. It's for a cousin of mine whose doing a Christmas play for her own school. She's in first grade." Karkat lied.

He didn't like lying to anyone. Especially to Sollux, who helped him out in a number of ways. What could he tell him though? That he was homeless and that Nepeta was actually an orphan like him? Not the best idea. Sollux didn't press further on the subject which Karkat was glad for. They made a left where a plaza was with a buildings connected to each other. The words 'Maryam Connections' was hung over the building in the center with clothes inside. Kanaya always had good business so it confused Karkat why she hadn't moved her store into a mall, where it belonged.

Sollux parked a little ways off from the building since it was the only available spot left. He pulled out something in his pocket when Karkat unhooked his seatbelt." Here."

Karkat looked at Sollux's hand where a piece of yellow paper was held in. It had small digits written that Karkat guessed was a phone number. He took the piece of paper and looked over it.

"Just in case you need another ride." Sollux said, smirking lopsided.

Karkat opened the car door and stepped out. With the door still opened, he turned back to Sollux." You go to Prospit High, right?"

Sollux nodded." I'm in your music class."

"How come I've never seen you?"

"Probably because you always have a book in your face." Sollux joked.

Karkat rolled his eyes and looked the numbers on the piece of paper again. He thought that he should repay Sollux back somehow. Karkat stuffed the paper in his jacket pocket and smiled up at Sollux." Thanks again."

"Don't mention it, KK." Sollux said, looking back at the wheel.

"Hold on a second! I never caught your last name." Karkat slowly started closing the door.

"Captor. Sollux Captor."

Karkat swore he hadn't run as fast as he did in his entire life as he did at that moment.

* * *

**Looks like someone doesn't like Sollux's last name. **

**Review, follow, favorite, or whatever!**

**~AB**


	7. Our Forgiveness

**A/N: Yes! I am ALIVE! So I had a writer's block and managed to finish so here. Might be a little rushed so forgive me in advance.**

* * *

Kanaya was sitting in front of Karkat with her hands clutched together on her lap. Karkat's hair was majorly disheveled. His breath was coming out in huffs and pants as he struggled to breathe. His head in his hands as he did so.

"Karkat, will you tell me what's wrong?" Kanaya asked, gaze fixed on him.

With a nod of his head, Karkat looked up at her." Captor is what happened."

The store the two were in became deathly silent. Not even the browsing shoppers seemed to break it.

"Captor? As in Yiioniic Captor? I thought he was in prison." Kanaya finally broke the tension in the room.

"Me too but look, he's out now. Isn't he?" Karkat crossed his arms and watched as Kanaya's assistant, Rose, moved around the store.

"The best thing to do is stay away from him and contact the police." She told him, resting her long pale hand over his own. Kanaya always knew what to say in every situation. Her words calmed Karkat the way a mother's singing calmed a young child. Perhaps that's why Karkat felt so close to Kanaya; she was like his mother.

Shaking all his negative thoughts away, he gave a small smile." Thanks, Kanaya. But I need your help with something else too."

Kanaya was now smiling as well when she spoke." Ah yes, Nepeta's outfit. I'll have you know that I worked on it all week right after you told me," Karkat looked at her with a confused expression as she called Rose over." Rose, would you mind getting me Nepeta's Mary costume?"

Rose just gave a nod and went to the back of the store. All while Karkat stared straight at Kanaya. She had a grin on her jade colored lips. The one thing that Karkat found slightly alarming about his friend was that she could be extremely mischievous. Mischievous enough to cause people to shiver at her knowing gaze. Rose returned not even a minute later with a long blue dress.

"Thank you Rose." Kanaya said to her assistant as she was handed the dress. Rose only nodded again and wandered off.

On close inspection the dress was a bright sky blue with sparkled swirls embedded in the fabric. Karkat allowed his fingers to caress the silky softness of it. The dress itself was a masterpiece; long-sleeved with a high V-neck along with a flowing white veil to match. Pulling his hand away, Karkat tried to hold back a frown. Nepeta would truly be Mary in the dress.

"It's beautiful." Karkat managed to say, much to his dismay.

"You really think so? It seemed a bit hurried to me." Kanaya said dismissing the compliment.

Karkat vigorously shook his head." No, not at all. It's perfect for Nepeta. I'm sure that she's going to love it."

This seemed to please Kanaya enough for her to accept his words. She then put the dress and veil on a hanger and into a protective covering. After she put it back where Karkat knew it would be safe until the day of the play. He then thanked her once more for making it in which she replied was nothing major.

"Although I have to admit Karkat, I never expected you to request a Mary costume." Kanaya said to Karkat with mild interest.

Karkat gave a small shrug but his face was one of pure distaste." It was only for Nepeta. I know how much it meant to her."

"Still, does it bother you?"

"No. Not as much as it did when I had to do it. I just want her to have a good time." He answered truthfully.

Kanaya said nothing. She only stared at him with a blank expression. Her high cheekbones often gave her a hollowed look that sent chills down anyone's spine. However this look wasn't trying to scare anyone, in fact if Karkat had to decide, it looked as if she were trying to figure out a puzzle. He wouldn't be surprised if she was. Even after all these years of knowing each other and still she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Karkat thought he made it obvious to everyone what he meant by his use of words or expression, but deep down there must have been another reason for all his reactions. It certainly seemed like it with Dave that was clear enough to see.

"You are very caring person, Karkat." Kanaya finally said, one of her thin smiles on.

Karkat only crossed his arms and blew out air through his nose." It's only because she deserves it. If it were anyone else I'd say fuck'em."

"_Karkat._" Kanaya warned quietly.

After giving her a smug smirk, Karkat stood and messaged his sore legs." Thanks again, Kanny. I couldn't have done it without you."

She rolled her eyes but let a light chuckle escape her lips." Of course, anytime. Are you taking your leave?" She asked.

"Yeah. I have work in the morning."

"Then I wish you all the best of luck. Come by and pick up the dress when you need it, I'll always be here."

"I will." Karkat said.

The two made no movement and just looked at each other with a fondness. It was Kanaya to make the first move in opening her arms, which Karkat immediately took advantage of. Kanaya's thin arms wrapped around Karkat, just as he did the same to her. They stayed like that as minutes passed by. The two soaking up what affection they could before they had to part ways once again. It was only until Karkat pulled away that she asked him a question.

"How did Yiioniic find you?"

* * *

The cold was getting too much for Karkat's tiny body to handle. His shivering was nonstop ever since he left Kanaya's. He kept his head up with his eyes fixed ahead of him as he retraced his steps back home. The snow falling rapidly around in large wet flurries.

"Fuck winter." He mumbled beneath is breath.

By now it was night in New York City. The streets littered with flashing lights of all colors, citizens of the overpopulated city moving throughout the night, taxis and limos zooming by dragging up slush with them. Somehow, Karkat managed to maneuver his way through the crowds while avoiding the slush. This wasn't something new to him. Nights like these were full of cruel people and harmful events that still played out in his mind. He could recall every one.

His gaze fell over a narrow alley close to the factory where he was jumped. It had happened so fast he tried hard to remember how he got away. It involved a lot of biting. So much that Karkat could taste the blood in his mouth when he practically ripped the skin off the man's arm. He shuddered at the memory and quickly passed the alley, wary.

Karkat now looked down at his snow-covered boots as he walked, his breath visible in the freezing air. He wondered if air had any color in it. For all he knew it could be the color of a rainbow or clear as looking through glass. He liked to think of it as water; calm until disturbed. Karkat found himself smiling at the thought. Nepeta was starting to have an effect on him.

"What'th th'o funny?" A voice interrupted Karkat's thoughts.

Karkat snapped his head up with a gasp to see Sollux Captor.

His clothes were different from the beginning of the day. His hair looked neater as well, gelled down and smooth. His voice carrying his lisp again when he talked.

"What the fuck, are you following me?" Karkat snapped at him.

Sollux took a step back with his hands raised. "Whoa KK, calm down. I'm here to see if you're okay."

There it was again. His lisp disappearing suddenly as if it were never there.

"That's none of your damn business! Now leave me alone." Karkat finished and walked past Sollux.

A hand on his arm stopped his from continuing. Sollux's voice came out gentle." Are you afraid of me?"

Karkat shrugged off the hand but remained still." I don't know you."

A sigh came from behind him, the warm air hitting the back of Karkat's neck causing him to stiffen." You can get to know me. I now I might not seem like the most normal guy around but…" Sollux trailed off.

Karkat said nothing. He didn't know what he wanted to say to him. Should he just ask him want he wanted to know? Or would that be too straightforward? Karkat didn't want to upset Sollux and couldn't figure out why. Before it was easier but after everything he did today, perhaps he earned an explanation. So Karkat would try to give him one as best he could.

"I'm sorry for running away like that all the sudden. I just needed to be somewhere really important at the time." Karkat said, ashamed at his own failure to admit what he wanted to say.

"That's fine. By the way you ran it looked urgent," Karkat turned his head slightly to see Sollux smiling." I just thought I did something wrong."

A pause of silence feel over them as Karkat studied Sollux closely. He certainly looked like Yiioniic; same charcoal black hair and petite structure. The only off about him was his eyes, he couldn't see what color they were. Karkat wanted to know.

"What color are your eyes?" He asked, turning to fully face Sollux.

Sollux swallowed and looked nervous. Then he reached up to grab his glasses. Karkat suddenly had an urge to stop Sollux from taking them off, afraid of what lied beneath them. He kept his mouth shut instead. Sollux had hold of his glasses and slowly removed them from his face. The sight Karkat saw caused him to almost loose balance as his legs drew closer together.

One eye was a dark molten red while the other an azure blue. Just like his glasses and just as equally hypnotic to look at. Sollux seemed to take Karkat's silence as a bad thing and quickly put his glasses back on.

"Why do you hide them?" Karkat asked, Sollux's frantic movements ceasing instantly.

Sollux thought long before he replied with his own question." Why do you live in a factory?"

Karkat kept his expressionless face on as he dug around in his pockets. After finding a slip of paper with Sollux's number on it he pulled out his phone. Sollux watched him with his eyebrows raised but remained silent. Karkat punched in the number in his contacts and then began typing a message. After he hit send he waited until a _ding _sounded in Sollux's coat pocket. His mouth twitched into a smile after he pulled out his phone and read the message.

"I'd be delighted to." Sollux said and reached out a hand to Karkat who accepted it, both giving it one last shake.

Once they pulled their hands away, Sollux started typing on his own phone and Karkat was the one receiving a message. He read over it carefully.

_**From: twinArmageddons**_

_Want to come and 2tay at my niice and warm church attiic?_

Karkat sucked in a breath and began to type again. Sollux received and nodded in confirmation. Karkat then turned and gestured him to follow. He led the other teen across the street and came up behind his metal home. He then told Sollux to wait outside.

Karkat forced open his front door and stumbled inside; hastily gathering clothes and his duffel bag. He messily threw the clothes inside and zipped up the bag. Karkat walked back out and made sure to close the door again before giving an OK to Sollux.

For the rest of the way Karkat tagged behind Sollux, watching his back. It didn't take as long as it did the day before to reach Alternian Catholic Church. Most likely because Karkat felt completely fine about the situation he had just got himself into.

As soon as they entered, Sollux led him back up the spiral steps and onto the loft. It was warm. Karkat dumped his belongings by the red bean bag he slept on before. Sollux sat down on the yellow one as he did last time and looked at Karkat expectantly. Karkat looked back at him with the same amount of expectance.

"Are you going to talk to me or send another text?" Sollux asked.

"Do we go to the same school?" Karkat responded.

"Yeah. We've gone to the same middle and high school since seventh grade."

"How come I've never noticed you?"

"Maybe because we have our own New York City at that place of horrors. Plus your always alone"

Another pause of silence came between them. This pause didn't seem like it needed filled. Karkat could just leave it at that and go to sleep but he came here for answers. Apparently so did Sollux.

"Why do you live alone in that factory?"

"My father died in the army and my mother was murdered when I was seven. I left the orphanage two years ago and have lived there ever since."

Sollux looked pained at Karkat's answer." I'm sorry."

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" Karkat asked.

Sollux shook his head." I never knew my mother. I won't tell anyone."

Karkat wasn't surprised at Sollux's response. Yiioniic always had some woman under his arm." Why are you so intent on knowing me Sollux? And don't me it's because you work for a church."

This seemed like the question Sollux wanted to hear by the way he smiled." You don't remember but we met a long time ago when I ran away from my home. You knocked some sense into me." He then gave a short laugh that Karkat's ears begged to hear once more.

"Did I hit you?"

Another laugh." No, nothing like that. You just told me to be thankful for what I have."

Karkat grimaced." Me? Really?"

Sollux clasped his hands together and held them over his mouth to refrain from laughing." When I found out that you hated God, I thought I had the wrong guy but I never met anyone else named Karkat. So it had to be you."

"Aren't you curious as to why I hate God?"

"Of course I am but you already gave me the answer and I think you're wrong. Your mother wouldn't have wanted you to."

Karkat gritted his teeth and looked at Sollux with a snarl." You don't know anything about her or my life."

"Then give me that chance. You want us to be friends, right? I truly am sorry about bringing up your mother but isn't it the truth?" Sollux said very convincingly.

Karkat looked away from him and laid down on the bean bag beside him. He pulled off his boots and jacket and set them on the floor." Shut up, asshole. I have work tomorrow." He said and closed his eyes, hoping to avoid the question.

Even with his eyes closed, Karkat could see Sollux's smile. He ignored him get up and turn the lights off that he didn't realize they were on. He then heard Sollux removing his own coat and shoes as the heater lurched to life. Karkat flinched at the sound but then felt a soft fabric laid on top of him. Karkat opened his eyes to look up at Sollux who was watching him. Sensing that he wasn't wanted, he began to turn.

"I have my reasons for hating God just as your reasons to love him." Karkat said aloud to Sollux.

There was no comment received. Only the sound was Sollux's padded feet heading back in the direction of his own bean bag. Then there was silence once again.

Karkat pulled out his phone again and opened the conversation between him and Sollux. He reread what they wrote.

_**To: twinArmageddons**_

_IF YOU WANT ANSWERS THEN I WANT SOME TOO. IF YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER THAN FINE. WE WILL. SO I GUESS I'LL ASK YOU IF YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS._

_**From: twinArmageddons**_

_Want to come and 2tay at my niice and warm church attiic?_

_**To: twinArmageddons**_

_FINE. ONLY BECAUSE IT'S PROBABLY THE FUCKING POLAR ICE CAP IN THERE. I'LL NEED TO GRAB SOME THINGS FIRST._

Karkat slid his phone back into his jean pocket and curled himself around the blanket over him. He knew that this was his fault. If it ended badly then it would mean he dug his own grave. He glanced back over at Sollux who looked peacefully asleep. Even after telling a complete stranger about his mother's death and living alone, he didn't regret it. Although he couldn't ask him about Yiioniic. _What the fuck are you doing Karkat? _He thought to himself as he closed his eyes again.

In his mind he reminisced about his conversation with Kanaya.

"_How did Yiioniic find you?"_

_Karkat froze in place and found that he couldn't speak. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and opened his now dry mouth." He didn't find me. I just saw him at Alternian Church during the cancer parade."_

"_But that's not all is it?" She asked, her eyes narrowed._

_Karkat nodded his head and looked down." I met his son and he let me stay with him after that and I-"His voice cracked and he put a hand over his mouth._

_Kanaya stood abruptly and seemed at a loss about what to do. Her hands hung loosely at her sides as she pondered what to do. "Karkat, what's wrong?"_

_His eyes were glossy as he looked up at her. His lithe body hunched over, hands shaking." I can't..."_

Now Karkat was scared. He didn't want to admit the truth. It was the reason he couldn't ask Sollux about Yiioniic; it was the reason to everything.

It was all because Karkat was undeniably in love with Sollux.

* * *

**Yup. So tell me what you thought! R&R all that good stuff.**


End file.
